Review
Normal parenting techniques did not work with our son. I saw medication looming in his future. Nurtured Heart techniques are the only ones that have had any positive effect. In one month we saw dramatic and transformative change. –Parent – Charlotte, NC<br ><br >I am a teacher and am applying the methods and principles in my elementary class. The approach is an awesome concept and set of strategies that enfolds your child in positives as a way of building inner wealth and leads him to be recognized for all of the positive qualities he possesses. –Teacher Salem, WI.<br ><br >This approach has absolutely transformed my relationship with my difficult teenager. We had been stuck in a pattern of disappointment and poor school performance for years. This book was the missing ingredient and now his father and I are proud and completely hopeful for a boy who was headed down the wrong path. –Mother/Therapist Pacifica, CA
I am a teacher and am applying the methods and principles in my elementary class. The approach is an awesome concept and set of strategies that enfolds your child in positives as a way of building inner wealth and leads him to be recognized for all of the positive qualities he possesses. –Teacher Salem, WI.
This approach has absolutely transformed my relationship with my difficult teenager. We had been stuck in a pattern of disappointment and poor school performance for years. This book was the missing ingredient and now his father and I are proud and completely hopeful for a boy who was headed down the wrong path. –Mother/Therapist Pacifica, CA
About the Author
Howard Glasser, M.A. is founder of Children s Success Foundation and designer of The Nurtured Heart Approach. He and Jennifer Easley are the co-authors of Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach (1999), currently the to selling book on the topic of ADHD. He is also the co-author of The Inner Wealth Initiative: The Nurtured Heart Approach in Education (2007), currently the top selling book in the area of school interventions. He has been a featured guest on CNN and a consultant on 48 Hours and lectures in the U.S. and internationally, teaching therapists, educators, and parents about The Nurtured Heart Approach, which is now being used in hundreds of thousands of homes and classrooms around the world. Howard is former Director and Clinical Supervisor of the Center for the Difficult Child in Tucson. He has been a consultant for numerous psychiatric, judicial, and educational programs. Although he has done extensive doctoral work in the fields of Clinical Psychology and Educational Leadership, he feels his own years as a difficult child contributed the most to his understanding of the needs of challenging children and to the success of his approach. He lives in Tucson, Arizona. Joann Ridenour Bowdidge, M.A. in Clinical Psychology, is a licensed psychologist in Missouri, practicing currently at Neuropsychological Associates of Southwest Missouri. She has extensive experience performing psychological evaluations and working with difficult children, including those with behavioral disorders, ADHD, and learning disabilities. In addition, Joann has worked in a community mental health center; in a rehabilitation hospital for those with head injuries, spinal cord injury, stroke and other neurological illnesses; in public schools, undergraduate and graduate educational settings as a teacher and consultant; in Head Start as a program planner and clinician; and as a private practitioner. Currently, Joann also travels to communities in Missouri to lecture, teach and excite others about The Nurtured Heart Approach. Her extensive experience with many types of disorders of adults and children has contributed to her insights in regard to the needs of difficult children and their parents. She lives in Springfield, Missouri. Lisa Bravo, M.C., LPC, LISAC and Advanced Nurtured Heart Trainer & Therapist, brings almost 20 years combined experience in the areas of parenting, behavior management, mental health counseling, crisis, chemical dependency counseling and consultation, both locally and nationally. She is the Founder/Director of ParentwoRx, offering counseling, coaching and consultation to families, schools and agencies across the nation. Lisa is recognized for her expertise in transforming the lives of families and systems by teaching them how to integrate the approach. She has presented extensively in the schools, mental health agencies, and to parents across the country. Lisa is faculty trainer for Howard Glasser and a regular facilitator at the Advanced Nurtured Heart Workshops held in Tucson, AZ. Lisa resides in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband and children. She is the proud mother of two and is raising her two children based on the principles of The Nurtured Heart Approach.
T0tal Bookworm –
Good and annoyingI was actually referred by my son’s developmental pediatrician to Dr.Lisa Bravo. Since her practice only accepts private pay patients, I decided to spring for this workbook and save myself the $775-$925 per month in counseling sessions. A bit about our family. My husband and I have been through Love & Logic tranning and PSMAPP training twice as Foster and later adoptive parents. We have two biological children with special education needs; an adoptive son with many learning and behavioral challenges; and an adoptive daughter whom is nerotypical. I was very annoyed by this workbook. It was incredibly REDUNTANT. There were numerous counterdictions & editing oversights that I think could’ve been fixed if the authors had spent more energy on just saying something once. For example, it is 214 pages long and the “trade marked” The Nurtured Heart was printed 110 times! It’s like they are constantly speaking in the third person. They make some outrageously arrogant statements, such as taking the credit for “inventing” the word positivity. Every idea they introduce is followed by a ridiculously long explanation which I could easily forgive if they didn’t re-cap EVERYTHING. They could’ve seriously cut this book in half and still have included all the content. It’s not total rubbish. If you are willing to stick it out there are a few really good ideas and approaches in here. A lot of the content mirrors Love and Logic as well as Parent Child Interaction Therapy. The biggest difference is instead of ‘waiting’ for your kid to do something praiseworthy you ‘create’ triumphs. For my son with extreme rage, when I’ve seen him boiling I’ve followed these directions to say something like ” I can see how frustrated you are feeling; I’m sure proud you’re standing here breathing instead of being destructive downstairs” (well first we weren’t downstairs, and second I’ve caught the meltdown a hair’s breath before explosion) but it’s enough of a distracted delay to give my kiddo some control to rationalize and let the impulse to succumb succumb to his rage pass. The credit system, while over complicated, has some good ideas supporting it as well. To not take away points but just freeze the bank allows you to discipline in a constructive way that doesn’t derail your kid. It’s that fine line where a consequence is desperately needed but ‘taking away’ anything from my son causes a COMPLETE breakdown due to his past with biological family and the rootlessness of foster care.So for the two things I gleaned from this book I am giving it three stars. But I wish they would re-edit into a more user friendly format. For me, as a reader I felt like they were full of themselves and reiterating everything because they think their readers are too stupid to retain the information the first time.
H4ever –
The Last Parenting Book You Will NeedI was one of those people who, as a teenager, I began reading parenting magazines and parenting books, long before I ever had children because I wanted to store away helpful techniques for later. After my children were born I continued to read and actually apply the things I thought would work. So, I have read a lot of parenting books – 1-2-3 Magic, Parenting the Strong willed child, Love and Logic, How to talk so your kids will listen…. Many of them have great insight but Transforming the Difficult Child is the last one I will ever read. It uses the Nurtured Heart Approach, which is so simple you might not think it will work, but it does. By simple I don’t mean easy. It takes a lot of work and practice before you have it right. But the technique is not complicated.I had the privilege of being guided by a clinical psychologist as I was learning this technique, which helped me to stick to it, and correct me when I failed to understand or when I started to do it the wrong way. If I hadn’t had that guidance I may not have fully understood the concept, and probably would have done it wrong. It is not about praising your children or complimenting them or telling them they are amazing. Those techniques are becoming popular but really do our children a disservice because it often is something the child really has no control over. The point is to narrate to the child what they are doing (without wrapping it in a compliment), and, if needed, explain why that is a desired behavior. It uses rules, which are concrete and easy for children to understand and “resets” instead of time out. A reset gets the child’s attention and gives him the ability to immediately change his behavior, whereas an arbitrary time-out does not accomplish this goal. Children want to be seen, and they want to know they are seen, and loved. You accomplish this by simply narrating what you see and refusing to engage when the behavior is negative. My son will come into the room and I will say, “I notice you have your red shoes on today.” They might look at you like you are nuts but they feel good, they know they are seen.It’s way more powerful than I am making it sound here, but there is so much gold in this book. It works for any age and any behavior. I think there is a textbook on this approach as well but get the workbook instead because it tells you how to do it and lays the steps out for you making it easier to apply. Re-read it over again because you will keep learning from this book every time you do. I highly recommend this book!
Megan F. –
Great coaster, worthless book. Save your time and money. Consult a professional for guidance.Purchased a while back to help with a difficult child that was soon to be a teenager. This turned out to be the best paperweight we ever got. Completely unhelpful and unrealistic, however it did make a nice coaster and prevented any scaring to our wood coffee table. We ended up consulting with a local professional and things took time but have sorted themselves out.
SDowney –
Not just for difficult children – amazing tools for every parent, teacher, or caregiver!I can’t say enough great things about this book. It was recommended to me by someone who works with families and young children. She said it’s almost always the first thing she has new patients/families do to set a baseline for their future family counseling – and that in some cases, it’s all that’s needed to reset the family and/or teachers’/caregivers’ perspectives.For us – it was life altering. I read the first 2 chapters, tried a couple things it suggested and saw an almost immediate impact. I’m not exaggerating – that same day, my 5-year old son went from acting out to trying to do ‘the good things’. I’ve recommended it to almost every parent I know because you don’t have to have a ‘difficult child’ to benefit from the concepts and tips/tricks in this book.
Jlourea –
This is an outstanding workbook.I was fortunate to have taken this class a few years agoThe training is definitely for the caregiver as much as the child. The program was so helpful that I actually purchased the book and workbook for a family trying to connect with a young foster child. They, too, have found the program helpful.
KristenTag –
Recommended by counselorMy son’s counselor recommended this book for his behavior. Instead of getting the book, I opted to get this workbook and I’m glad that I did. This provides the same information as the book, but in a quicker and more hands on format. It provided some great information for working with my son. I recommend it.
Samantha Kelsey –
It takes a lot of the pressure off and reassures you that it is possible to have a happy home!Has helped a huge amount with supporting our very emotional child. It takes a lot of the pressure off and reassures you that it is possible to have a happy home!
Lee and Martin –
Excellent bookExcellent read took s long time to come though
Clare Sinclair –
good readuseful Social Work tool
Belinda N –
Great advice and reflection techniques.Simply super ☺