After applying these strategies for less than a month, my difficult teenage daughter is incredible. –Parent. Everything we tried in the past was making the situation worse. Now our intense child is intensely wonderful without medications. –Parent/Educator. This is absolutely the most worthwhile information I have ever learned. My hyperactive child is now my amazing child. –Parent/Therapist<br ><br >I have read dozens of books, tried dozens of programs with no change in my child’s behavior what so ever. This book has changed our lives! We started implementing the steps and the very first day we saw a change in our child. Life has become pleasant and peaceful without any compromises. Our child is helpful, considerate and no longer talks back. He does his chores before we ask him and his room has stayed clean for three weeks without any nagging!!!! I highly recommend this book to anyone with a difficult child! –Parent/Educator<br ><br >Like many of my peers, I too want to do the best possible job raising my children. The desire to be respectful and supportive does not always involve consistent discipline, but it should! Anyone with a sensitive, loving child can benefit from this book. Any parent who feels like they have tried every trick in the book to promote good behavior in their children, but can’t seem to gain compliance in their kids, will benefit from this book. I was recommended this book by our psychologist, whom we have been seeing because I ran out of coping strategies for dealing with my very sensitive, very smart, and very compliant child who seemed addicted to PUSHING MY BUTTONS!! Turns out, the very emotional responses I had to my child’s poor behaviors, was promoting the very things I was trying to;punish away; Time outs escalated into screaming matches and made me feel like a drill Sargent, not very productive, and definitely not respectful or supportive! Transforming the Difficult Child has opened my eyes to; accentuate the positive; and;down play the negative; In short, shifting all of my aggravated tirades into positive reinforcement of GOOD behaviors. Within two weeks of implementing this style of attention, my 5 year old was more relaxed, more cheerful, more agreeable and happier than I had ever seen him. In turn, he was also less anxious, stopped a nervous habit of lip licking that had been with him for two years, and lots of chapped skin! He now knows that he is good MOST of the time, and only bad once in a while. I was failing to acknowledge his good behavior, because that is what we think of as; expected; but He was feeling as if he was always bad, because our energy was always spent on correcting bad behaviors. Please read this book if you recognize any of the above story, or if you know someone who is in constant power struggles with their children. This book has a simple, gentle, loving and supportive plan of action that will change your Family for the better, even if your child isn’t difficult. After all, we all want someone to acknowledge our good behaviors, who better to do it than your parent!! –Parent
I have read dozens of books, tried dozens of programs with no change in my child’s behavior what so ever. This book has changed our lives! We started implementing the steps and the very first day we saw a change in our child. Life has become pleasant and peaceful without any compromises. Our child is helpful, considerate and no longer talks back. He does his chores before we ask him and his room has stayed clean for three weeks without any nagging!!!! I highly recommend this book to anyone with a difficult child! –Parent/Educator
Like many of my peers, I too want to do the best possible job raising my children. The desire to be respectful and supportive does not always involve consistent discipline, but it should! Anyone with a sensitive, loving child can benefit from this book. Any parent who feels like they have tried every trick in the book to promote good behavior in their children, but can’t seem to gain compliance in their kids, will benefit from this book. I was recommended this book by our psychologist, whom we have been seeing because I ran out of coping strategies for dealing with my very sensitive, very smart, and very compliant child who seemed addicted to PUSHING MY BUTTONS!! Turns out, the very emotional responses I had to my child’s poor behaviors, was promoting the very things I was trying to;punish away; Time outs escalated into screaming matches and made me feel like a drill Sargent, not very productive, and definitely not respectful or supportive! Transforming the Difficult Child has opened my eyes to; accentuate the positive; and;down play the negative; In short, shifting all of my aggravated tirades into positive reinforcement of GOOD behaviors. Within two weeks of implementing this style of attention, my 5 year old was more relaxed, more cheerful, more agreeable and happier than I had ever seen him. In turn, he was also less anxious, stopped a nervous habit of lip licking that had been with him for two years, and lots of chapped skin! He now knows that he is good MOST of the time, and only bad once in a while. I was failing to acknowledge his good behavior, because that is what we think of as; expected; but He was feeling as if he was always bad, because our energy was always spent on correcting bad behaviors. Please read this book if you recognize any of the above story, or if you know someone who is in constant power struggles with their children. This book has a simple, gentle, loving and supportive plan of action that will change your Family for the better, even if your child isn’t difficult. After all, we all want someone to acknowledge our good behaviors, who better to do it than your parent!! –Parent
Comments from Readers
“We had lost hope. This approach has saved our family. We were spinning our wheels. Everything we tried in the past was making the problems worse. Now our intense child is intensely wonderful…without medications.”
“My child was diagnosed with ADHD. I thought it was a death sentence. We couldn’t go an hour without an argument or some horrendous incident. Now I know peace and pleasure for the first time in many years.”
“This is absolutely the most worthwhile information I have ever learned. My hyperactive child is now my amazing child.”
“Our child was in therapy for years. The more she got in touch with her feelings, the more she seemed to take her anger out on us. It’s hard to believe, but after applying these strategies for less than a month, my difficult daughter is now a cooperative and pleasant young person.”
About the Author
Howard Glasser is the founder of Children s Success Foundation and creator of the Nurtured Heart Approach, which is being used in hundreds of thousands of homes and classrooms around the world. He is author of Transforming the Difficult Child, currently the top-selling book on the topic of ADHD; The Inner Wealth Initiative, one of the leading books on school interventions and his most recent book, YOU Are Oprah – Igniting the Fires of Greatness. Four of his seven books are in the top 1% of all books on Amazon.com. Howard has been a featured guest on CNN and a consultant for 48 Hours. His work is being successfully applied to programs with Meth addicts to the Military – from Marital Counseling to Mentoring programs – from Headstarts to High schools, from Treatment programs to Eldercare and from Fostercare programs to programs fostering inner wealth in infants and todlers. He is proudest of the fact that he is responsible for keeping more children off of psychiatric medications than perhaps any other living person. He and his wonderful daughter who has painted 4 of his book covers, live in Tucson, Arizona.
boy crazy –
These techniques work with my very challenging boysThis is the only parenting book, of dozens read, that helped with my kids at all. It helped when they were little and it still helps in middle school. The concepts are simple and the results are good. With two very challenging boys, it’s a constant struggle to stay positive and calm. I have one who is a born manipulator and one with organic brain damage. They both respond well to this approach and over time have become, dare I say, compliant?!?!?!
B –
Good info and good outcomes despite academic wordinessThis book has some very helpful approaches for dealing with your “difficult child”, but it’s needlessly wordy. I feel like it could have conveyed the same information in 40-50 pages of plain language and saved busy parents from wading through quite so many academic discussions.
lindsey mace –
Could have summed it up quickerI am now on chapter 9 of this book. The methods seem effective. However it’s hard to read. I feel most of these 15 page chapters could have been summed up in 3 paragraphs or less. So to me I had to force myself to read the same thing over and over again an entire chapter
Amazon Customer –
Life changing!!!!This deserves more than 5 stars. This approach has literally changed our lives. We were at the end of our rope with my 13 year old son who has extreme Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Last year was a breaking point when he began talk of suicide. We got into a family therapist who recommended this. Week one and two was challenging because he “tested us” exactky like Dr Glasser says they will. We stayed string, didn’t give into negativity, and week 3 and 4 he began blooming!!! He has taken an interest in new things that he wouldn’t even attempt before like basketball! The issues at school have all but stopped. I would highly suggest doing the reward points like Dr Glasser suggests. It really helped to build trust that we were doing life differently now, and it was gonna be awesome! He looks forward to our time every night when we add up points. There are also tons of Nurtured Heart YouTube videos you an watch to help you understand more. This is our way of life now and it’s never going away!!!!!
Alyssa –
Already seeing resultsAfter the first chapter I began implementing some of the ideas with my six year old. The impact was swift and clear. He went from saying what a horrible bad kid he was, and how awful his summer was, to saying that he is doing well and what a great summer he has had! I have finished the book but haven’t yet implemented everything. We will continue to work on it, but I really feel like I’ve finally found a possible solution for the extreme negative self esteem he’s been struggling with!
Linda M –
You can’t go wrongThe information in this book has made a big difference in our household. Our “Difficult Child” just turned 13 years old and I was concerned that the techniques might be too young for her. They are not. A child of almost any age would benefit from the approach of improving their self-esteem and of having parents who have learned to keep their cool. Great ideas and great book overall.
brittany garrod –
Very informativeThis book really helps parents make a mental shift in the way they parent. From no longer focusing on the negative and instead promoting positive behavior in even the most difficult behaving children with ODD/ADHD/ADD diagnoses. I use this book to help teach parents a different approach instead of expecting me to “fix” their child in therapy. Working with the child and the parent makes for a much more peaceful partnership at home!
Alayna –
Miracle working!I have 6 kids, and the last 2 we adopted from foster care, and they have extreme ADHD. I have been a parent for 21 years, and have fostered 10 kids. I have taught school and worked with kids my whole life. I thought I had plenty of tools to meet any situation. Not with these last 2. We got them on medication, and that helped for a couple of weeks and then the behaviors started up again, maybe worse than before. We were at a loss, constantly living in a state of anxiety about what they would do next, and how we would handle it. In a desperate search on Amazon for help, after one broke a window in our door with a bat, broke our TV by throwing a toy at it, and then got sent home from preschool for throwing toys at the teacher, I found this book. I almost didn’t order it because of the title – Nurturing the Heart sounded too loosey-goosey, touchy-feely, and honestly like it would take a long time, and I needed help TODAY! I am only 1 week into implementing this approach, and it is like a miracle has occurred! They have exhibited self-control I didn’t know they were capable of. They have showed kindness and cooperation I wouldn’t have even dared to hope for. This approach is simple yet powerful and totally doable (not to say it isn’t challenging – it is, but when you are getting these kinds of results, it motivates you to press on!) There is also a Facebook group that is very helpful and a website with videos. I can’t recommend this enough! We will keep doing it forever!
B McCullough –
Must Read if you have an intense/challenging child.Every parent, caregiver and teacher would benefit from reading this book. I got wonderful tips and insights into both my childs and my own actions and reactions. Hugely thought provoking and simple to implement…effective and empowering.
pamb –
Three StarsHard to understand